Being a Friend in and out of Season

The holiday season stands as a poignant reminder to express gratitude not only for our abundant blessings but also for enduring connections with family and friends. Among the celebrations, the cherished traditions of the holidays brings people together, fostering moments of laughter and joy. However, it’s important we acknowledge there are times when approaching the table feels challenging. In those moments of difficulty, when the path seems uphill, reflection becomes crucial.

It’s during such times that we recognize reasons for gratitude and endurance—whether found in the strength to face challenges, the support of loved ones, or the unwavering presence of faith. In the midst of life’s complexities, remaining a friend to oneself, to Jesus, and to others is critical.

Before we dive into these topics, let’s lay the groundwork with three fundamental truths:

1. God is our Creator (Genesis 1:1).
2. God’s word is true, and His way is perfect (Psalm 18:30).
3. We were created for community.

Let’s begin with what can be the most challenging aspect for many of us—being a friend to oneself.

Friend to Myself

We’ve established that God is our Creator, and everything He does is good and perfect; there are no mistakes. When we criticize ourselves, we essentially question God’s craftsmanship. Reflect on Genesis 1:26 and Psalm 139:14, acknowledging that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Being a friend to ourselves is grounded in appreciating the way God made us—in His image, bestowed with unique gifts intended to glorify Him. When we extend kindness to ourselves, we mirror the kindness of our Creator. It’s essential to remember that being unkind to ourselves essentially amounts to criticizing God’s creation. This is not an endorsement of unrestrained self-love or an encouragement to not deny oneself, but rather a call to refrain from diminishing or disparaging one’s own worth.

So, how can we show kindness to ourselves? Begin by embracing gratitude for the unique qualities and talents God has bestowed upon you. Recognizing that God uniquely crafted you is an act of reverence. Take time for nourishing not just your physical well-being but also your emotional and spiritual health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and align with your God-given purpose.

Romans 5:8 reassures us that God’s love is unconditional, and through Christ, we have been redeemed. You don’t need to prove your value to anyone. Your past does not define you; you are not the mistakes or labels others have placed on you. Press on, knowing that God is working through your struggles; He is your true friend.

Friend to Jesus

Building a relationship with Jesus is akin to nurturing any other friendship. Have faith and trust in who He says He is. If you’re struggling, seek God’s guidance, read the Bible, and spend intentional time with Him through prayer, journaling, or prayer walks. As John 15:13 reminds us, to know Him is to love Him.

Jesus is not just a distant figure but a personal friend. While Erin may be my friend, if I don’t engage with her—talk, spend time, ask questions, and truly listen—can I claim to know her? The same principle applies to our friendship with Jesus.

It’s not merely about knowing facts about Him but spending quality time with Him. If you’re not there yet, engage in conversation. Spend time with Him—read your Bible, utilize prayer journals, engage in heartfelt prayers, go on a prayer walk, read your Bible, and immerse yourself in praise music and spend intentional time building that connection. The more time we invest in this relationship, the deeper and richer our understanding and love for Him becomes.

James 4:8 encourages us to draw near to God, and He will draw near to us. Being a friend to Jesus involves not only acknowledging His presence but actively seeking it. Share your heart with Him, be honest about your struggles, joys, and aspirations. Just as you would with a close friend, share your life with Jesus.

Friend to Others

Being a friend to others is truly a gift, though admittedly, it’s not always a walk in the park. True friendship (with family members too) demands qualities like kindness, encouragement, honesty, and forgiveness. While worldly standards may fall short of God’s call to friendship, our focus should remain on the eternal. Reflect on your actions—are they a reflection of genuine friendship, are they a reflection of Jesus?

I’ll be the first to admit that growing in this is an ongoing process. Sometimes, it is a struggle at best. There have been times when I found myself doing the opposite of what a godly friend would do—being unforgiving, telling people what they want to hear, and neglecting the kindness I would hope to receive.

Proverbs 17:17 beautifully encapsulates the essence of friendship, reminding us that a friend loves at all times. Proverbs 27:17 compares friendships to iron sharpening iron, highlighting the transformative nature of true companionship. In John 15:12-15, Jesus lays the foundation for genuine friendship, while 1 John 2:9 challenges us to scrutinize our actions.

Friendship is a profoundly rewarding experience, and through our kindness, we have the power to positively impact someone’s life, guiding them from darkness to light. Take a moment to delve into scripture, seeking guidance on how to treat others. Let God’s words serve as a guideline for interactions within your communities and circles. After all, we were created for community, designed to be in fellowship with others.

As we navigate this holiday season, let’s anchor ourselves in the wisdom of scripture in every circumstance. Whether you’re grappling with being a friend to yourself, others, or Jesus, turn to the Bible for guidance on these relationships. Let its teachings shape your interactions, allowing Him to take the lead. Extend kindness generously, not only to those around you but also to yourself. In doing so, become a beacon of light in the midst of darkness, letting His glory shine through you.