Teach them to Pray

Today’s article is the fifth and final installment in our series Discipling our Children. Please note, this blog post is not limited to discipling children, but can be applied in our own lives as well.

For more resources on prayer, including a free copy of the High Five and Shh Prayer Guide, check out our tools page.

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My relationship with the Lord started with prayer, not reading my Bible. While, you’ve heard one hundred times, if not more, from me that reading your Bible is how we grow closer to the Father, it was prayer that first brought me closer to the Lord. Our relationship grew during our time together in prayer. Prayer time is what gave me the desire to know Him better through His written Word.

Of course, each person is different. Relationships with the Lord can be formed through being in creation and admiring His wonderful works. We can grow closer to Him through serving, worshipping, Bible reading and prayer. Today’s blog post was supposed to be about all of these different ways to grow in relationship with the Lord. Our team has laid out how they connect with Him, but that will have to be for a different time and post. Today, the Lord is leading me to share why prayer is so important for our children. It is imperative we teach our children to pray. This means teaching the why, how, and what to prayer.

As I have considered my words during drafting this post, I’ve prayed. My prayers are for you and your family. That God will give those following along, through reading or your guidance, a desire to connect with Him and spend time with Him.  That He will call you closer to Him and you will deepen in your relationship and love for Him and His Word during your prayer time.

I pray that , because that is what He has done for me through prayer and it has radically changed my life and deepened my love for Him.  He has filled me up when I was empty and been a refuge for me when I needed saving.  He has revealed Himself to me and He is my best, truest and most faithful friend.  Nothing has been more transformative in my life than the discipline of prayer.  When I was a little girl there was a song we sang in church and the lyrics were: “I can pray out loud, or silently.  I can pray standing tall or on my knees.  It really makes no difference, just that prayer is the key.  ‘Cause prayer changes things and it changes me.”  As it pertains to me, these words are so true.

Why should we teach them to pray?

Prayer can and should be used as a first response to any situation, good or hard. Prayer brings our kids closer to their Savior, which in my opinion is most important. Not many people do things they don’t know how to do or aren’t comfortable doing. I was not the type of person who would open my Bible on my own, because frankly, it intimidated me. Even as an adult, I struggled for many years to truly know how to pray. My prayer life consisted of bedtime prayers and blessings over food. In my late twenties I had someone teach me how to pray. So, someone sitting down and instructing me was exactly what I needed.

Being a Christian and not knowing how connect with the One you desire to connect with is discouraging. After learning how to pray, it still took time getting comfortable praying aloud, or with others. It also took a while for me to pray for extended amounts of time, but practice was and is key. So, with that said, I am in the camp of “teach a man how to fish,” or in this instance teach a child how to fish. Importantly, Jesus demonstrates a consistent prayer life as we see in the gospels, which is who we are trying to model our lives after as believers. He says in Matthew 6:5-6:

⁵ “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Do you see that? Jesus says when you pray. I also think it’s important to note that we should teach our children to pray so we can share with them how not to pray. As Jesus said, we should not pray for attention or to be seen by others. Prayer, when thoughtful and sincere, is a beautiful way that we as believers have the privilege of being able to participate in with our Lord and Savior.

The how and what of prayer

For Littles:

For sweet littles the best way to teach them how and what to pray is through practice. As you grow in your prayer life, the Holy Spirit will guide you to teach your children. You will be able to model for them ways to pray to God. Some ideas are: Teach them some prayers to memorize at first, like the Lord’s prayer. Have them pray over dinner. Model prayer for them, if they get a boo boo or scratch. Make prayer a habit in your daily lives, so that it becomes natural. A fun method I used when my children were growing up is the High Five and Shhh Prayer Guide. Each finger represents a prayer point for them. I ended up making a guide to print so that we could walk through their prayer points together. Looking back at these print outs brings me so much joy. Here’s an example:

For third grade through adulthood:

I truly believe third graders through adulthood can use the ACTS method. I am excited to share with you how I use this method and some scriptures I pray with each portion of prayer. I’ve used this method for several years; its simple and has changed my relationship with the Lord entirely. I believe He has called me to continue to share this and additional ways to pray with others.  If you or your children have ADD this is really going to be your jam, and I’d recommend journaling your prayers.  This is a way to connect with God and organize your thoughts. If you are anything like I am – ALL OVER THE PLACE – then this could be really beneficial for you.  

Acts + Listening Method of Prayer

The method of prayer I use is very common, I just add one little piece to the end of it. Adding that little piece is pretty common too, it isn’t anything original, that special piece is listening. The acronym ACTS stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.  It is loosely based on the Lord’s prayer that begins in Matthew 6:9 and is also found in an abbreviated version in Luke 11.  Then, we add in the listening piece. Before we breakdown this method any further, let’s look at Matthew 6:9-13, the Lord’s prayer:

⁹ Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
¹⁰ Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread,
¹² and forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from evil.

Adoration

Exalt the Lord our God and worship at His footstool; Holy is He. Psalm 99:5

The adoration piece is where we start.  Adoration is an act of worship showing honor or praise to God.  When we pray prayers of adoration we put our focus on God. We get to quit looking at ourselves for this time and focus on who God is and His attributes. This helps us quit being so concerned with our selves in this moment. We can breathe for a minute and forget our problems and shortcomings.  In the Lord’s Prayer that adoration happens right at the beginning.  Our Father, in heaven, hallowed be thy name.  I wish we had time to unpack all of this but… when Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray he said our Father.  Right there He was showing relationship. Jesus was pointing us to a God who cares about us because He is our father. That, friends, is something we can praise Him for.  He is also in Heaven.  This gives us an appropriate posture towards Him. Acknowledging Him as high above us.  Finally, hallowed be thy name.  Hallowed means holy.  To sum it all up Jesus is sharing God is our father, above us and holy. During the adoration time of prayer we can read or journal psalms. I love to use this time to share with God who He is to me, and repeat who His word says He is. Sometimes I listen to or sing worship songs about Him and His goodness.  Other times, I even just say to him what attributes of His I am thankful for that day.  

Confession

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Confession is an acknowledgement of sin to God or to a neighbor we have wronged.  It is a means to agree with God about our sins.  When confessing sin, I recommend praying this scripture:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

After praying Psalm 139:23-24, the Lord always reveals sin for me to confess. When confessing these sins, I like to keep 1 John 1:9 in mind (see above).  It brings me comfort to know that when I confess my sin He is faithful and just and will forgive those sins, especially after bringing those sins to the surface and laying them at God’s feet. After acknowledging who He is, we acknowledge our sinfulness before Him and we can trust we have been forgiven.   During our time of confession, we can pray or journal our confessions of sin. During my personal prayer time I also include repentance and admitting into this category.  I admit my struggles and worries here and make a choice to turn from my sinful ways.

Thanksgiving

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Fun fact, we actually don’t see thanksgiving in the Lord’s prayer.  It is one of the reasons ACTS is based “loosely” on the Lord’s prayer.  But all throughout scripture, of course, we know that Jesus offered prayers of thanksgiving. I believe this is why thanksgiving is used in this prayer method and why we should too.  Thanksgiving means to express gratitude.  Thanksgiving may the most simple of all of our prayer points, but can bring us and our children joy. Some ways or reasons to give thanks are for answered prayers, for who God is, what He has done in our lives, the lives of others, what He will do and is doing. 

Supplication

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

Supplication is making our requests known to the Lord- these are the sweet prayer requests where our littles can pour our their hearts to their Lord and Savior.  We see this in the Lord’s prayer when we ask for the Lord to give us this day our daily bread.  Here we are praying for our needs to be met.  These can be practical needs/bread or spiritual needs/bread.  This is where we make our personal requests and requests on behalf of others to be known to God.

Listening

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:30

He who has ears to hear, let him hear. Matthew 11:15

Listening is to give close attention with the purpose of hearing; yield to advice.  The Bible has so much to say about listening.  The ACTS acronym doesn’t mention this portion of prayer, but it is the key ingredient. 

Remember when I shared prayer is how my relationship with the Lord began? This part of my prayer time is what gave me the courage to open my Bible, on my own, and hear from the Lord. This is where your kiddos will start hearing from God on their own, through His written word. Think about this, why would we have a conversation with a friend and not listen to what that friend has to say?  All believers need to learn How to listen to God and hear HIS voice, not just their own and this includes our children.

My favorite verse to consider during this portion of prayer is Hebrews 4:12:

¹² For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

When I listen, I usually read the Word of God.   I ask a few questions.  What does this tell me about God? What does this message mean to the people who it was originally written for? What does this mean for my life?  Is God leading me to study a particular book of the Bible or memorize a scripture verse? Are there

Sometimes listening can be different it could be going back and reading through journaled prayers, listening to the Holy Spirit.  Listening could actually mean listening to praise music or you could go into nature and enjoy His creation and listen to quietness.  Do it and try it, but do not forsake listening. 

Make a Move

Prayer fosters relationship with the Lord. It is our job as parents to teach our children that prayer is our first response. As those discipling our children it is important that we too know how to pray and pray often. Then, spend time with them showing them how to pray. Be the example for them modeling this and find ways to incorporate prayer as a natural rhythm for your family.

For more resources on prayer, including a free copy of the High Five and Shh Prayer Guide, check out our tools page.