Doubting and Concerns in Faith

Today’s article is the fourth installment in our series Discipling our Children, contributed by Amanda Butler.

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Let’s face it, it is likely our children will have doubts about their faith.  The faith of our children is exactly that, their faith.  We cannot force them into a relationship with the Lord; and we certainly are not the Holy Spirit. However, we can help them cultivate a relationship with the Lord and do our best to disciple them in a way that will encourage them to love the Lord.  As mentioned before in this series, the Fuller study indicated that “the most important factor in whether young people remain steadfast in their faith is whether they have a safe haven to express their doubts and concerns regarding their faith before leaving home.”  There are several ways to create an atmosphere in the home conducive to creating this safe haven, which I am excited to share. 

Ways to Create a Safe Haven in your Home:

1.     Start with spending time reading the Bible together and ask your family what questions they have and/or what is confusing.  This opens the door for open biblical conversation.  Make a decision of how often your family can commit to this and then get started.  In my experience, time reading the Bible and answering questions have given our family the most insight to our children’s faith. During this time it becomes obvious what they are questioning/doubting/concerned about without even having to outright ask.  After we read the Bible we always ask each person to share a takeaway.  The takeaway could be something that they learned or something about God they heard in the reading.  This helps them to become critical thinkers and develops the skill of understanding what they are reading. Remember, “for the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12.  So, with that verse in mind, let us have faith that spending time reading the Word will pierce through the hearts of our children and reveal to them who God is. 

2.    Share doubts, concerns, or struggles you’ve had in the past relating to your own faith. Then, share how those were rectified.  This not only shows them that doubting can be normal (hello Thomas), but also how to depend on God to help ease and overcome their doubts.  Let your children know that doubting can be normal and it’s important to take those doubts to God.  Assure them they can also to ask you or someone who could perhaps answer the question or direct them to scripture.  Share the story of Thomas, one of Jesus’ very own disciples who doubted, see John 20:25-29.     

3.    Have Bible learning time or trivia time to answer hard questions.   This is listed separate from Bible reading because this is meant to be more digging through the Bible for answers to questions, than scripture reading time.  For example: Who is God, What is my purpose? Give them some solid apologetics talks and resources to help your children understand the answers to questions that nonbelievers seek answers to.  Then, dig into the scripture to back up the answers.  Bible trivia is always a fun way to teach information about God and the Bible, and it can help create a deeper understanding.  Some resources we’ve used to answer hard questions are: the Westminster Shorter Catechism (there are others, but this one is my favorite), Creation to Babel by Ken Hamm, Christian Beliefs by Wayne Grudem and we’ve even gone to an apologetics conference which was so much fun. 

4.    Live out and teach them how to have a Biblical worldview.  Everyone has a worldview.  A worldview is a pattern of ideas, beliefs, convictions and habits that help us make sense of our experiences.  As we live out our worldview with Jesus at the center of everything it sets the stage for our children to see this in action.  Having this worldview means always pointing them towards our hope that is Jesus.  Teach them to know the full story of the gospel and what scripture says. Sit down and go through creation, the fall, redemption and restoration.  Don’t be afraid to share about other worldviews and what they believe.  Teach them how the Christian worldview is different, and why.  These are hard conversations to have, but are beneficial because many kids are already exposed to worldviews that contradict the Christian way of life. 

Then, Give it to God

Lastly, we must trust God and pray.  Friends, if we believe God is God and He is omniscient, omnipresent, all the things we know to be true of Him, we can cry out to Him and surrender our children to Him.  As I type this, I feel so doubleminded to even say “trust God” because this is a word for me, too.  He is our hope and He loves our children more than we do.  Take those babies to the throne room.  Lay down your prayers before the most high king and know that He hears you. When you’re praying try referencing John 14:14 & 16:23 in your request.  Here is my prayer for my children using John 14:14 & 16:23 to help me form my request.  Feel free to use this prayer and change it to fit your situation.  “Lord and King Jesus, you say ask anything in my name and you will receive it, and whatever you ask from the Father, He will give it to you in My name.  In the name of Jesus I ask you to help my children have an unshakeable faith in you.  Lord,  answer their questions, ease their doubts (name specifically if needed) and give them confidence to boldly proclaim you as their Lord and Savior.  Give me wisdom Lord, and understanding to help them navigate their questions and concerns.  Equip me to handle their questions with grace and love.  Allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me when needed to guide and disciple them.  Lord do a work in their hearts and turn them towards you again and again.”

We can be proactive in discipling our children in their faith and through their doubts. When they arise we can be there ready to answer, assist and encourage because we are equipped by the Lord and the Holy Spirit lives inside of us.    So, spend time in the Word, share your own struggles, teach them the hard stuff, cultivate the Biblical world view, and trust God to be God. 

Make a Move

1.     Do you know of any questions, concerns or doubts your children have about their faith? If not, what ways do you think you can dig deeper or start addressing some common concerns?

2.    What doubts or struggles do you have in your own life?  Have you prayed about them or taken them to a trusted friend in the faith?

3.    Where have you seen God renew your own faith?  Could you share this with your family?

4.    What worldviews are your family members exposed to?  Have you talked about these?

5.    Is it hard for you to trust God with your children?  Write out your own prayer for this.