Family Time

Family time is not something we have always done well.   However, God has put it into our hearts to lean into family time more intentionally.  Four to five years ago our lives were chaotic.   Each day our family, at most, saw each other for two hours due to work schedules, sports and a school that was 45 minutes away.  Weekends were devoted to sports games, church, cleaning the house, catching up on work, keeping up with the yard and traveling to birthday parties. There was no time for “us.”  We were going hard, fast and were sloppy with our family time.  Then, in 2018 my son tried to hurt himself.  Honestly, it was a wake-up call to my husband and I.  We began to see the strain put on our lives by all of the “stuff” we did, and more importantly its effects on our children.  I wish I could say we just randomly decided to be more intentional and that’s why we are so much healthier as a family now, but that’s not the case.  We came to a breaking point and we had to make some decisions.  

In evaluating our parenting, much was brought to the surface.  Not everything changed overnight, it was a gradual process, but we knew after this we needed to act and move in the right direction.  Ever since this incident, my husband, Justin, and I talk about what needs to be changed/improved upon in our family.  Recently, in one of those conversations Justin said something that we both already knew, but it just made sense for the subject at hand.  He said, “we just need to model our lives and our family after Jesus.  Whatever He did, our children should see that we are imitating Him.”  Simple, yet profound.

I began thinking about the ways of our Savior in this new light. This led me to question how we can minister to our people (family) the way Jesus ministered to His people (disciples).  Jesus was the master of intentionality.  In evaluating the ways and rhythms of Jesus, we saw some similarities in the Butler family.  We also became aware of some differences which lead us to want to implement changes.  These examples may not be the way the average person thinks of family time, but we have started to change our mindset.  Now we embrace these ways and they are truly meaningful to our family.  

When we began to look at Jesus and the ways He spent time with His people we noticed one thing right away.  Jesus prayed with His people.   He modeled prayer, seeking the Father in solitude and then in the Gospel of Luke 11:1-4, Jesus teaches the Lord’s Prayer to his disciples when one of them asks, “Lord, teach us to pray.”  This is a simple, intentional, natural way to connect on a spiritual and emotional level with your family. Justin and I recently began making prayer a priority with our family.  Of course, we would pray over dinner and pray over specific situations as they arose, but that is not what I’m talking about.  We now have a prayer time together each night.  We usually do this at the end of our day and add another discipline of Jesus into this time- scripture.  We keep it simple and just read one verse.  This has been such a precious time of connecting to God and with one another.  We also let our family see us step away to have our private prayer time or we pray with people when they are in need of prayer.  My son, Austin, the other day asked someone if he could pray with them and it made my heart skip a beat, I’ll call that a win! Use your family time to model the fruit you’d like to see within your family.  

Another rhythm of Jesus that we see in scripture is Jesus breaking bread (Luke 7:34, John 2:1-11, Luke 5:29-32 are just a few examples).  Our guy loved to have a meal with folks and I’m totally with Him on that!   There is something so sweet about sharing a meal with those you love.  The Butlers aim to do family dinner once a week.   Meal time can be hard for some families with crazy schedules and ours falls into that category during sports season.  Miraculously, Wednesday nights are wide open in this season of life, so we’ve made that our family dinner night.  That’s not to say we only have dinner together on Wednesdays, but on Wednesdays we absolutely have dinner together.  Some may have to evaluate their schedules and see where family dinner can fit in each week, but it’s worth it.  After Justin or I finish our dinner we read a devotional while everyone finishes their food.  Then, we go around the table afterwards and just have each person share a takeaway.  It’s very simple and our children love hearing that we are learning right alongside them. 

This next discipline has been hard for us, but it is a muscle we are strengthening. Jesus promoted rest and shared that Sabbath was for man. He also encouraged his disciples in Mark 6:30-32 to rest.  30  The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. 31 And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. 32  And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves.  When our family observes the Sabbath Justin and I make sure to share this is what we are doing.  We are not rigid with it, as Jesus also modeled, but we make it a point to not do chores, school work or house work.  We also talk about how God even rested on the seventh day during creation.  

As I was writing most of this blog I was on my way to and from Puerto Rico with our family. I know Jesus wasn’t kicking his heels up listening to the Latin beat and trying to swim to the buoys in the middle of the lagoon. Why would he bother anyway, He could walk on water?  However, He did travel and get away and we see that in scripture.  As a family, traveling and getting into nature are some of the best times for us to connect.  We can even share our faith with each other and in some situations strangers.   It is hard to get away sometimes, but even if it’s for a day at the park, get away and do something together.  Observe God’s glorious creation and talk about how beautiful He made this world.  Share with your people how intentional He was with even the littlest creatures you discover and the stars in the sky.   When you are traveling, talk about the different places Jesus traveled to during His ministry. Talk about Him traveling to Samaria, which was unheard of in those times.  

He ministered with His disciples.  In our family we try to minister to others with one another. We’ve done this on our vacations, mission trips, during Holiday seasons, at restaurants and stores. We are oftentimes looking for ways to share our faith.  We’ve practically done these things and I’ll give a few examples.  Mission Trip- we took a simple trip to NYC with our Awaken Church family and it really took us out of our comfort zones. We are changed for the better because of this trip.  Holiday seasons- We also find ways to share our faith unconventionally, for example on Halloween we have several children coming by our home.  I understand some Christians turn off their lights and do not support this day in any way (and I understand this point of view as well). Our family chooses to use it as a missional opportunity.  In the past we have reversed trick or treated, where we’ve gone to other’s homes and handed them a gift with a Bible verse or bracelet while they’re handing out treats.  One year, we handed out I love Jesus necklaces. My favorite example was this past year where we made our driveway into three different Bible themed stations.  We gave away Swedish fish and they were in a little makeshift lake with scriptures about being fishers of men.  We gave away Skittles reminding the children of God’s promises and had a treasure box sharing scripture about where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.  On vacations-  we have purposefully worn scripture shirts to point those we come across to the Word of God while on vacation.  Other ways we’ve done ministry together were asking strangers if we could pray for them, paying for someone’s coffee and giving them a church invite.  As a family we look for ways to minister to others together. To us, that is the best way we can spend our family time.  

Lastly, we have game night.  While I still haven’t found evidence that Jesus did this with His disciples, I’m convinced that He did.  Just kidding, but when I asked my daughter what her favorite thing to do as a family was, it was game time. So, for Ryn, I added game night to this devotional and all the children said AMEN!  Even if you hate playing games, because you lose like my husband does, do it for the family.  We all have different ways we feel loved and connected.  Personally, game night is one of my favorites too, and when Justin plays with us I know that it’s a labor of love since he’s not crazy about it, and THAT is Christ-like.  

These practical ways of family time are just some examples of what we do.  They are by no means the only way to connect, but for us they work!  I tend to overcomplicate things, so really stepping back and defining what is important (being Christlike) really helped us to simplify what this looks like for us. Being intentional with little things can produce lasting memories and serve as discipleship opportunities to your family and beyond.  Whatever you decide to make your family time… walking, reading books together, praying, eating, the list goes on, just do it with intentionality and keep Jesus at the center.   We as a family are no longer prioritizing the things that are not eternal, which is what has changed the most in our lives.  Because of this change we are a stronger family.  We may not always do things perfectly, but we strive to model our family lives after Jesus.   Friends, when we truly model ANYTHING after Jesus it will never be wrong.  Now have some FAMILY TIME together! 

Bible Time:

Luke 11:1-4

Mark 6:30-32

Luke 5:29-32

Action Steps:

Identify who your “family” is.  For some this is easy.  Others may struggle with this because of their season in life, but take a minute to think about who your people are.  Jesus had His disciples, they were his people.   Think of ways you spend time together.

What are some rhythms Jesus displayed that you already incorporate into family time? What are some rhythms you’d like to start incorporating?

What prevents you from incorporating these things into your family routine or makes you uncomfortable? Pray over these concerns.

What is one small step you can take to implement something new into your family routine?